What I get for studying?



I get to FLY

I get to go to my DREAM UNIVERSITY

I get to live in LONDON

I get to SHOP at Oxford Street

I get to LIVE INDEPENDENTLY




So My Study Stress Is WORTH IT



p/s : sorry, I'm just motivating myself to study
rather than sleeping / daydreaming / watching TV
so yeah. study, fathin, studyyyyy -.-'

p/s : this post contains A LOT of pictures
so be patient okay? :)







A Fortnight Across The Sea


17th January



That morning I woke up feeling like a nervous wreck.
This is it. Finally IT.
I'm going to UK for two weeks.
I'm going to miss a week of class.
And I'm going to face two medical school interviews.
Let me brief you.
In order for me to go to university, I have to face
the interview first.
If they like me, I'm accepted. If they don't,
then this whole trip is a waste of money.
And all my sweat of blood for about two years
battling A Level is for nothing.

So after heart warming goodbyes from my parents,
my sisters and I make it to the airport.
I am feeling quite stressed. Why?
1) Interviews are generally scary for everyone.
2) My parents spend quite a lot for this trip.
3) I better not mess it up.
4) I'm only half prepared.
5) All my sisters care about is shopping.
Not to make my sisters as the bad guys, but you
can't blame them. Going for a two-weeks holiday
is generally exciting, and I can't expect them
to be a nervous wreck like me.

So on the plane, all I did was study, study, study
for the interview. I read medical interview books when
everyone else was sleeping, and only sleep for about
2-3 hours. I'm feeling a small churn inside my stomach.

Finally, we landed.



That night I know the meaning of being cold.
Just when I step out of the London Gatwick airport,
my breath came out of my mouth like a white smoke.
Luckily I wore a winter coat, so I managed to keep
myself warm. The taxi came and drove us to
our destination - Tower Hill.

After we finished unpacking, he showed us how to
get from the apartment to the Tower Hill underground
station. I must say, the tube system around London
is very convenient.
He offered to show me how to get to my university
tomorrow, so that I won't get lost during interview.
My sisters agreed, of course they did, they wanted to
shop anyway. And I didn't mind him showing me around.
So he went home.

And I walked around the apartment, and then to the bed.
Tucking myself underneath the comfort of the thick blanket,
I closed my eyes, hoping that tomorrow, the nerve will subside.


18th January



Of course the next day, my nerves did NOT subside.
In fact it grew and grew.
I used the tube for the first time, and I met him.

First we tried to figure out where Guy's Campus was.
It didn't take long for someone who basically lived there
for the past three months.
I went inside the medical school campus, and all I
could think of was -
"Tomorrow I'll be here, my fate will be decided,"

I walked around the campus and I tried to figure out,
using my heart, will this place be the place I'll
spend the next 5 years of my life in?
I didn't know why, but the place feels - warm.

And then he took me to the main campus of the
university. It was magical.
The main campus consists of three buildings, connected,
and surrounding a big, square, concrete space.
But that day the space wasn't empty.
The main building was decorated with the word 'S K A T E'
and the space was filled with an ice skating rink.
People were skating, and I felt like I stepped into
a magical world.

I'd never have a dream university, but that day,
I think I found a place I wanted to study in.

Which made my nerve grew even larger, so I went back,
and of course, I studied, studied, and studied
everything I could.

Then I got a call.
He told me that he would be coming to meet me that night.
So I waited.

And there it was, in his hand,
my favourite food - rice with prawns.


19th January



The Big Day.
I woke up early.
Not that I had so much sleep the previous night, anyway.
So I got ready, and my sisters gave me words of wisdom,
encouragement, and shouted motivational speech that sent
me off walking with determined steps.
Then I met him, and he sent me to Guy's Campus.
Because I couldn't remember how to get there.
I arrived early, so we decided to get breakfast first.
He asked me what I felt like eating.
I said the first thing that my stomach could think of.

"Fries,"

So we ate fries.
And I read some last minute things. And then it was time.

I went into the campus, and into the building, and then
into the waiting room.
EVERYONE looked nervous, and to be honest, nerdy.
I felt so inferior looking at Asian students with big square
glasses, and there was even one Malay student, I think, who
looked like a very strong girl, like she could be the
next lady prime minister or something.
I thought to myself, maybe I was lucky to even get to the
interview stage. I vowed to try my best and just see how it goes.

My name was called.

Overall, the interview was ...

CREEPY.

The interviewers did not even smile, and they shook
their heads when I answered their questions.
All the while I thought "Crap. Crap. Crap."
And by the time the interview was over, the interviewers
didn't even look up to see me off, they just looked at the
papers. I was a bit let down but I didn't care.
Although they were scary, I was calm. I didn't know why.
I guess it was the doa from my parents.

And then I met him, who was waiting the whole time in the campus.
He asked, how was it?
I told him everything, and he wisely said,
"Kena reject la tu,"
I felt a little down, but I tried to be optimistic. I looked good
on paper, so maybe they would give me a chance anyway? I didn't know.
All I know was I kept on hoping, because I had never loved a university
like that before.
He was trying to make me forget about the interview, and he even
joked that at least he could tell his children, that he got into King's,
and I didn't.
Ha ha. Just what I wanted to hear. NOT.

But his reaction was actually what I needed. He admitted that I
could do better, and he made sure that I didn't keep my hopes too
high up. So that I had the worst case scenario in my mind.

Then I went on doing something that I know for sure could
lift my mood up - shopping.

At Oxford Street.


20th January - 21st January




The next two days went on with a blurr.
I told my sisters how the interview went,
and I guess they could sense that it didn't go that well.
So they avoided the topic and talked about shopping mostly.

My parents were a little more, well, parent-ish.
They whatsapp-ed me, asked me how was it.
I told them all the head-shaking and not-smiling things,
and how I couldn't answer some questions.
My dad sent a long text about optimism, and how we have
to move forward in life etc.

All this motivational efforts made me think -
was it really that bad? Or was it just me, telling
them only the bad details?

But whatever. I pushed the interview out of my mind.
I tried to have fun with him and his friends.
We went to see the movies, go shopping, and I bought
many new shawls for a surprisingly low price.
During the day I was enjoying myself, and when the seniors
asked me how the interview went, I told them it went bad,
and my face didn't look sad or anything.
But secretly, I wished that I could give a different answer.
Every night I checked my email, to see if I got any decisions
already from the university.
I was restless inside.

I went out with him for the last time that week, because my parents
and my brother will come to UK the next day.
So we went to Hyde Park. The trees were bare and dreary without leaves.
Winter really made the park look gloomy and cold.
But it was worthwhile - I got to see a swan for the first time in my life.

That night I checked my email again - nothing.

Maybe I should just focus on my next interview.
Birmingham University.
Maybe I would fall in love with Birm too when I go there.

I closed my eyes and went to sleep.


22nd January - 23rd January



On 22nd January my parents and my brother came to UK.
We moved from the apartment to Travelodge near King's Cross St.
Two rooms were booked as there were six of us,
and so I shared rooms with my sisters.

Other than that, the two days also went on with a blurr.
Since I have practically 'screwed' my first interview,
I vowed to never do the same thing to my second, and
my teacher's words came to mind.
He said,
"Think of it like this. You have a second chance.
You have two interviews instead of one,"

So in a way, I do have a second chance.
Although my first chance is actually my first choice.

But no matter.
I studied and studied hard for the next interview.
Although sometimes my mind drifted and I went online
to student forums, reading about offers and rejections.
And then I studied again, hoping the second one would
turn out fine.

Then secretly I checked my email again.
Still no words from King's.
Which made me all the more motivated to not screw
my interview with Birmingham.

All the while my other family went out, shopping and
enjoying London.
What did I expect them to do? Sulk in the room with me?
So I looked at them and told myself, that if I succeeded in
my second interview, I would be able to enjoy like that.
No more sulking.
More shopping.

So I studied.
Hoping that the interview would come already.
And then finally I can enjoy this trip.


24th January



The day to pack and drive to Birmingham had come.
My interview is on the next day, so today - packing.
I packed all my clothes and folded my interview suit.
My interview book still loyal in my hand.
I would read them in the car.
Or so I planned to.

So the whole family left London and drove to Birmingham.
But my sister had done her research before.
She found out that there was a factory outlet in Bicester,
so why not we stop by and shop for a little while?
I figured that shopping was what I really need right now,
so why not have some fun?

So we drove to Bicester Village, the premium factory outlet
full of designer brands outlets like Chanel, Dolce and Gabbana,
Prada, Dior, Gucci and many many more.

We went crazy.
Even I forgot about my interview looking at the expensive
brands and the word '70% SALE' written across the shops.

My parents had allocated money for shopping, and
had promised to buy us all new handbags.
Of course, our eyes set on buying Prada handbags.
Then my mother said,
"Takpe atin, esok kita pergi lagi sini lepas
awak habis interview,"

Just like that I was reminded again of my interview.
Right. Focus. Medical school. Prada. NO! Doctors!
So in the car we were all thinking of what to buy,
and which shops to go, while my father drove to Birmingham.
Again, we booked two rooms.

Then my father had an idea.
"Atin, interview awak dekat university kan? Kita
pegi drive situ la. Nanti sesat pulak,

And so we did. The whole family. In the car.
Driving to my next university.

But we got lost.
My sister asked me to turn on my 3G to look at
Google Map, because we looked like we were in a
completely different planet.

And so I did.
And I noticed - 1 new email.

My heart raced.
Usually if the university replied so soon, it
would probably mean rejection.
I figured that if I would be rejected, at least I
better just face it and get it done with.
So I took a deep breath and look at the email.

"There is an update at your King's College
myapplication portal,"

So I logged in to the King's website, and the
first word I saw -

Congratulations!
We are pleased to inform you that you have been made a conditional
offer of a place ....

I smiled.
But my ears were buzzing and my heart pumping.

I didn't even realize it when my mouth said -

"Korang! Korang! Korang! Nak tau tak?"

The whole car went silent.
They didn't even know I was checking on my email.

"Atin dapat offer Kings!!"

Then the car errupted in cheers.
I couldn't distinguish who said what exactly,
but I can hear my sisters screaming,
my mother saying "Yeke? Yeke? Atin bestnyaa!"
my father smiled and proudly congratulating me.
I only smiled as my sister offered to read the rest of
the words in the offer page.
Then we checked the requirement - AAA in A Level.
Yay. At least they didn't ask for A*

So we cheered and smiled as my father drove.
My nerves were gone completely, and while we were
driving to Birmingham University, all my mind could
ever think of was - King's! I'm going to King's! My first choice!

So we arrived at the front gate of the uni, but we
didn't go inside, my father just needed to know the way,
and then we drove back to our hotel.

That night, I just did some light reading, and then finally,
finally I felt like I can sleep with a smile on my face.


25th January



That morning I woke up early, as always.
Only when I have something important that day.

So I put on my suit and my pink shawl, and
went to my parents' room for some breakfast.
I think it was my suit that gave a sense of
serious-ness in the air, so all we talked about
was interview, say this, say that, smile, eye contact,
don't forget to shake hands etc etc.

Then my family drove me to the university. So I walked
into the medical school, asked the receptionist, and then
I waited on the couch. I saw a very nerdy-looking Asian girl
reading some very long articles, and she looked nervous.
I looked at her and tried to smile, but she was too buried
in her books, so I tried to ignore her and research
through my handphone instead.

Then it was my turn. I went into a very small waiting
room, and I saw a (very handsome) American-looking boy
in his suit.
Because he's handsome, I asked him
"When are we supposed to hand in our ID?"
He startled and looked at me like I was an alien,
and then stammered while saying that he didn't know.
Oh well.
I guess interviews are not a place to make friends.

Then the boy was called (Mr. Daniel? Come in please.)
He took a deep breath and walked away.
I was left in the waiting room trying to remember all the
notes about Birmingham.
I didn't know why I was still nervous. I already had an offer,
so I actually only needed Birmingham as a back up, but I was
still nervously trying to remember things.

And then after 15 minutes (it felt longer at that time)
the Daniel boy came in looking relieved, and he said "Good luck"
as he went out of the waiting room.
And then I was called.

"Miss... Miss Fat.. Fat-thin? Come in please."

So I came in and handed him my ID. He smiled.

So the interview began. And ended.

Blergh.
It was short and sweet.
Except for the fact that when he asked
"Why Birmingham University?"
I accidentally gave him a few reasons for King's instead.
Luckily I didn't mention King's.
But I corrected myself quickly and he just nodded.
Again, crap. Crap. Crap.

But other than that it went well.

And then I had to wait until 12 pm, because there'll be
a medical school tour, so I spent my time walking
around the campus myself until 12.
I couldn't help but notice how different Birm was
compared to King's.
Birm was a campus-based uni, where everything was contained
inside one place. You could get the food, the facilities,
the accommodation and the lecture hall all in one
university.
King's was city-based. The campus were scattered around the
city, and you had to go to restaurants for food and rent your
own accommodation and arrange your own transportation.
Nothing is in walking distance.

But that is exactly why I preferred King's.
I grew tired of all the boarding school kind of life.
I didn't want to be contained in one place anymore.
I needed city life. Cewah.

Anyway so I got to the medical school by 12.
Then I saw the same Asian girl I saw the first time I walked in.
She introduced herself as Sharon Zheng, and she was
from Singapore.
We joined the medical tour together, and while the
student was excited showing us around the university, Sharon
and I were talking and sharing our stories.

I was surprised to hear about the Singaporean colleges.
They were so competitive that they really make sure that
all the students will fly somewhere to study.
So all the students applied to USA, UK, Hong Kong, Australia,
New Zealand, France, you name it.
They were stretched even worse than us Malaysians.
Suddenly I was glad Malaysia didn't pressure students like that.
.... Or do we?

And then she talked about how Singaporeans 'steal' thousands of
Malaysians graduates every year to work in their country.
I didn't make any comment, but secretly I wished that I could
say something.
But what can I say? It is true. It is happening.
Brain drain is an infectious disease.

So Sharon and I said goodbye when my family came to pick me up.
We exchanged phone numbers and took some pictures.
And of course, we exchanged facebook names and emails.

And then.

I smiled.

Big smile.

Because it was SHOPPING TIME!

But we only got to browse a bit of Bicester Village that day.
So my family rent two rooms in Bicester.

And I went to sleep, again, smiling.
Knowing that finally all the burden was off my shoulder.
And tomorrow, I can finally go shopping, properly.


26th January



That morning I woke up with a strange feeling.
And then I felt something in my throat.
Great.
I had a flu.
And a serious sore throat.
I sounded like a man, not some sexy seductress.

But no matter.
Today was shopping day!!
While we packed and put our things in the car,
my sisters and I were chatting heavily about what we
were buying.
Of course, all of us wanted handbags.
Me and Angah settled for Prada hangbags, while our
ambitious Along wanted Chanel.
Only our sensible little brother was sitting
at the back looking sour and shaking his head.
He probably was thinking "Why in the world do
women spend a lot just for a handbag?"

And then we got to Bicester Village.

So I searched and searched for handbags.
I went to Prada, Gucci, Coach, Micheal Kors,
and even took a brave step to Dior and Burberry,
and then walking back feeling terrified of the price.
Then to Prada again, and finally deciding on a
blue leather Prada bag.
It was not that expensive, mind you.
Okay, it was Prada. But it was also about 50% off.
You only get that in factory outlets.

And then my brother was thinking of buying something
for his girlfriend.
Which reminded me of a certain someone.
I talked to my parents about buying something for him,
and they agreed, seeing how he had helped me so much last week.
So we walked into shops by shops, and finally settled on
a nice looking CK jacket.

When we got back in the car, we were all excited about what
we had bought. Now only we understand why people always go
to UK to shop. It's cheaper, really!
And then my family expressed their joy because I was going to
study in London, not other cities in UK.
London is easier because the airport is basically there.
And then we can all shop at Oxford Street - again, cheaper!
One more thing, is that it is SO much easier to find halal
food in London compared to other cities.

So we drove all the way to London again.
To King's Cross, and booked two rooms.
I slept that night, knowing that tomorrow was
the last day I could spend shopping,
and the last day I could totally spend with him.

27th January



That morning my family went to Oxford Street, Harrods,
and also other places to shop.
Me? I also went to Oxford Street, but with him.
I gave him the jacket, and he liked it.
Or he pretended he liked it, which was equally nice.

And then I went all out shopping all the things
I could think to buy, because I have been suppressing my
desire to shop before my interviews.

And then it was dark.
So I said goodbye to him, and went to the hotel.

But it didn't end there.

My parents wanted to meet him, and thank him properly, for
taking care of me while I was here in UK.
So that night, about 10:30 pm, he called me.
He had arrived.
My parents got ready and we went to the cafe downstairs.

It was the first time he met my parents.
He bought us all lamb kebab, and I ate like a giant.
Because I didn't eat a proper dinner that day.
The three of them, they talked. And talked.
And got to know each other.
I secretly felt warm inside.

Then we said our goodbyes.
And he walked off.

Again, I had a reason to sleep with a smile that night.

And a reason to wake up again.

There was an alarm, howling and ringing in the hotel.
My sisters, all awaken, quickly went out of the room.
Me, being a tudung girl and all, quickly took a shawl, and just
rolled it around my head without even a single pin.
Then all of us ran out of the room, and out of the hotel.
Everyone was there, all in their pyjamas, looking scared.
As I stepped out of the hotel, I realized that I had not wear
my shoes. So I walked out of the hotel barefoot, and it was winter.
I could hear someone saying
"Oh look, that girl hasn't got any shoes on!"

Thanks, woman. I understand English.
So Angah hugged me and tried to keep me warm.
She took out a piece of paper from her handbag and put it under
my feet, to keep it warm.
I even had a moment to feel touched, as she hugged me and
tried to keep me warm.
And then my parents called, and they walked towards us.
My mother brought extra jumpers, so she put one under my feet.
As I was keeping myself warm, I could not help but notice a Chinese girl
sitting in one corner, looking lost. She was wearing only a T-shirt.
I asked Angah to give another jumper to her, and Angah agreed.
The girl looked relieved, and the whole family watched her as she put it on.

The firemen came and checked the building.
Everything was clear. It was a false alarm.
Great.
I had a flu, a sore throat and the 'false alarm' chose a night
when I forgot to bring my shoes.

But no matter.
Everyone went inside their rooms,
and I?
I went back to sleep.


28th January



The morning was hectic, and busy.
We were all packing here and there, and at the same time
making sure that all the bags were within the weight limit.
And then I realized something.

He took my Malaysian simcard!

He thought that if I keep the simcard myself then it would
surely went missing. Pfft.

So anyway Angah and I went on the tube, and went to
Picadilly to meet him.
There he was.
Waiting for me right in front of the tube station,
wearing a suit. (He had a function that day)
I had to say, he looked quite good in a suit.
I asked him, what about his function?
He told me that was already quite late but it's okay.
He gave me my simcard, and then I went back to the station.

I turned around to have one last look.

He was still standing there with his hands in his pocket.
Then he waved at me.
I waved back. (And almost hitting a man while doing that)
And then I turned back around and continued walking into the tube.

I would not be seeing him for about another 5 months.
So, that,
was a nice picture that I kept inside my head.
As a little souvenir.

From a fortnight across the sea.